


Letting the Light In

by sabstar



Category: La Reina del Sur (TV), Queen of the South, Queen of the South (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-06-19 04:17:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15502134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabstar/pseuds/sabstar
Summary: A story from James Valdez's point of view after 3x06 where he comforts Teresa after Guero's death.





	Letting the Light In

Guero was dead. And this time it was for real.

We had never been the closest friends- okay fine, we were sworn enemies and more times than I’d like to admit I had daydreamed about his stupid plane flying into the Bermuda Triangle. But his death had really shaken me- Camilla wasn’t playing games anymore. It could have been me buried in the parking lot of a Taco Bell. 

Guero was an arrogant, selfish drug dealer- but no one deserves that. 

The worst part was that Teresa would never be the same. The whole drive home silent tears trailed across her cheeks and she removed her hand from mine when I had tried to hold it. It made me so unspeakably angry that such a good person, an angel on earth, had to survive insidious tragedies that left scars just as much on the inside as they did on the outside. 

I was pretty sure that everything that happened last night was over- the kiss, the heat, the connection. I was so stupid for actually thinking that Teresa would want to be with me. 

When we pulled up to my house and Teresa had gone back to her room Pote and I shared a look.

“What do we do?,” I finally asked, stifling a yawn. Pote was always the best at giving people a reality check. 

“We give her the space she needs and tell her everything is going to be okay, even if it isn’t,” Pote replied, looking as exhausted as I felt. “You should sleep,” he told me, putting a hand on my shoulder. 

“Can’t. I’ll take first watch,” I said, even though I had been up for twenty two hours.  
In all honesty I hated sleeping because that’s when memories of the war, Camilla, and my sister began to creep up on me. When you were awake you were in control- you could distract yourself and let off steam. But at night you were helpless, stranded in a nightmare you created yourself. Last night, when I fell asleep beside Teresa, I didn’t feel so stranded. I guess it’s nice to know that someone actually cares about whether you’re having good dreams or thrashing violently under the sheets fighting invisible opponents.

“James, it’s five am, you’re sleeping,” Pote reported, giving me a look that said that the decision has already been made. 

There was no arguing out of this one. 

I decided to sleep on the living room couch closer to Teresa’s room- she may be giving me the cold shoulder but this way I would be there if she needed help. 

 

The next day passed, and Pote made me promise, again, not to invade her space. He said she was still “processing it” and “didn’t need me to confuse her heart”. Seriously, the guy should write cards for Hallmark. She didn’t even come down from her room when Pote made her favorite meal- chicken and beef fajitas. 

The next day I made my decision. Teresa wasn’t going to be depressed any longer- not on my watch. 

“Something has to be done. She’s going crazy in there,” I said as I paced in the kitchen. Pote was making tres leches cake, another futile attempt at luring Teresa out of her room. 

“James, I really don’t think she wants to see anyone right now. It's kind of like when I was seven and…”

“Pote, I don’t have time to hear another one of your stories Teresa needs our help now,” I said, putting my metaphorical foot down. 

He studied my face for a long time. I didn’t want to explode at him, Pote was a loyal friend, but when it comes to Teresa I really needed to learn how to control my emotions.

“You’re perfect for her. Bring her this and promise me you’ll be nice,” he said, handing me a piece of the cake and the warmed up fajitas to bring our Queen. 

“Promise.”

“Don’t even mention what happened between you two last night, just focus on making her feel better. And don’t insult Guero! Just be her friend- can you do that?”

I let out a quick laugh. “The past two years of my life have been pretending to just be her friend. I got this.”

 

I ascended the staircase to her room and knocked on the door- five times in our secret rhythm. We invented it after I got the GameBoy for Tony and she pulled a gun on me- not knowing it was me on the other side. It was like our own language, and she would always fling the door open when she heard that knock. 

But today there was no answer. 

I knocked again- but my attempts were useless. 

“Teresa, it’s James. I just want to make sure you’re okay since you haven’t left your room in two whole days.” 

I was talking to the door, and I started to abandon all hope that she would want to confide in me. 

“Do you want me to get Pote? Kelly Anne? We’re all worried about you. Please just tell us what we can do to help.”

I held my breath, hoping for a reply or some sign that she was okay. But it didn’t come.

“Okay, I’m leaving but I promise you that it’ll get better,” I said, spinning on my heel and starting to walk away. 

Suddenly I heard Teresa slowly creaking the door open. 

“James, stay, please…,” she choked out through her crying.

My instincts took over and I ran through the door and hugged her close. I don’t know how she was able to soften me- until I met her the most emotion I expressed was giving my enemies a sympathetic smirk. 

Almost as soon as she started crying it was over, she quickly wiped her eyes with the back of her sweatshirt sleeve and made her way to the opposite side of the room. She looked like a mess. Her curls had manifested into a giant knot, she was wearing pajamas and an oversized sweatshirt, and from our brief hug I could tell that she hadn't showered, brushed her teeth, or taken care of herself at all since the last time I saw her. 

“Um, Pote made you food. You want some?,” I started, hoping to ease her out of her shell. 

No response. 

“Fine, I’ll just eat it,” I said, and just as I suspected, Teresa raced over to swipe the delicious food from my hands. 

While she was wolfing down her meal I took a moment to observe the room. Her curtains were pulled all the way shut and her unmade bed was scattered with used tissues. 

This was going to be worse than I thought. 

“Sorry the place is such a mess. I just…”

“No, don’t apologize! This really isn’t that bad, and who even cares about this room? Maybe we should explore some of the several other rooms in the house that you haven’t seen yet…,” I knew that I was rambling, but it was definitely good for her to get a change of scenery.

“All I want to do is sit here,” she said, stabbing her cake angrily before swallowing. 

“Look, I don’t want to make you upset, but I am sorry. Guero wasn’t that bad, and I know he meant a lot to you so…” 

“So the first love of my life died because of me. No matter how much he had betrayed me in the past he didn’t deserve to lose his life, and I really can’t talk to you about it.”

“Teresa you can talk to me. And I know that burying your emotions just closes you off from a lot of light in the world. We’re in this together, right?” 

For the first time that day Teresa lifted her head and met my eyes. She was in so much pain. And somehow I knew that I was the only one who could help her. 

“James, please don’t hate me for blocking you out lately. I just can’t deal with this all at once. And even though I completely ambused you about the whole Guero thing you’re still kind and sweet, hell, you even brought me food. I just don’t deserve to be with you.”

“Teresa, that is so completely wrong.”

“No, it isn’t. Everything I touch I destroy. One way or another I would end up ruining us, and I can’t drag you down with me. With my luck you would probably end up buried next to a Burger King if you were my boyfriend.”

I couldn’t help it- I burst out in laughter. 

“Teresa, I’m not Guero! And if anything it would be a McDonalds because…”

“That’s not the point! James, I can’t do anything but ruin this,” she said, motioning between us.

I pulled her close, and she buried her head deep into my neck before roughly pushing me away.

“James, I can’t,” she said, biting back another sob.

Tears began to prickle around my eyes. She was everything to me, it couldn’t be over before it really began. 

“Teresa, I am not Guero. This is a brand new relationship and I was really hoping that together we could… be happy.”

There was a long pause. I was already kicking myself for putting myself out there like that. I didn’t want to scare her off- she was the best thing in my life. 

“I thought we could be happy together too.”

“We still can be.”

She stopped, throwing her hands in the air.

“How? How, James, can we possibly be happy in this cruel world with our impossible lives?”

She started to turn her back to me again to wipe a tear, but I gently placed my hand on her cheek to make her turn back.

“I’ll tell you how. You’re going to wake up every morning with my arm around you and not worry about a thing because you feel safe. We’re going to have breakfast together and then talk about nothing. And you’re going to get to know me. Really well. Nobody else does. And I’m going to know everything about you from you’re brand of toothpaste to your dreams in life. That’s why we should be together. It’s not too late.”

There was a deafening silence between us, but Teresa slowly made her way over to me and gave me a passionate and slow kiss. 

“I want all of that- and more.”

“If you want more you’ll let me call you Tere or Babe and, I can’t believe that I’m saying this, I’ll let you call me Jimmy.”

“Woah, this just got serious,” she joked, and it felt like victory when a smile crinkles her eyes. 

“I have to be honest with you, I’ll never completely be over Guero’s death.”

“I know,” I said, thinking again of my sister. “But it’s going to get better day by day.”

“So, now that I’m your girlfriend I think we should announce it to the world.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?”

“By telling Pote of course,” she said, running out the bedroom door completely elated. 

Before leaving the room I opened the curtains- bringing light into the room. It really was sunny that day- only a few clouds looming in the distance. 

“Come on, Jimmy!,” Teresa called from behind me, taking my hand and pulling me towards the kitchen, where Pote was about to hear that Teresa, after so many years of wanting, was finally mine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I adore writing for these two and feel free to leave kudos and comments:)


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